


family fun

by GxmerGurl



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Attempted Sexual Assault, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Husbands, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jealousy, Leo is a protective dad, M/M, Magical Pregnancy, Objectification, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post Mpreg, Revenge, Sad Takumi, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Supportive Leo, Takumi is depressed, Worry, i'm a sucker for them being a family, takumi is fully on board, this is pretty much canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:14:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26670469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GxmerGurl/pseuds/GxmerGurl
Summary: Despite the title, not every short story included in this will be fun. But this is going to be a collection of short stories revolving around Takumi and Leo being dads and trying their best to raise their sons. But it's really not just them. It's about the Hoshidan and Nohrian Families and how they handle life after the war.If you have any requests, put them in the comments :)
Relationships: Foleo | Forrest & Kisaragi | Kiragi, Foleo | Forrest & Leon | Leo, Foleo | Forrest & Takumi, Kisaragi | Kiragi & Leon | Leo, Kisaragi | Kiragi & Sakura, Kisaragi | Kiragi & Takumi, Leon | Leo & Sakura, Leon | Leo/Takumi, Oboro & Takumi (Fire Emblem)
Kudos: 17





	1. envy

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome! I am a big fan of the concept of Leokumi trying to be good dads and raise their sons with whatever life has in store for them. 
> 
> You want me to write something specific? Let me know in the comments!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takumi is feeling bad for being jealous of his son and Leo is there to help him.

"Are you two sure that you want to do this?" Leo looked down at his two sons, sitting on Kiragi's bed. They just smiled up at him, both of them cuddled deep into their respective blankets. 

_"Of course_ , dad. We don't want to wake you two tomorrow." Kiragi said, Leo, smiling and shaking his head. 

"I am not sure that you chose wisely to take him up on this offer, Forrest. I went hiking with your father once and never did it again."

"Well, I did promise it. But I just want to spend more time with my brother." Leo leaned down and kissed only Forrest's forehead, knowing that Kiragi didn't like it and only accepted an occasional hug here and there. 

"I know. Just be careful, you two. And sleep tight, not that you go off being exhausted and tired. We don't want to risk you hurting yourselves." Leo said as he tucked them in. 

"Don't worry, dad! I got this." Kiragi said, beaming up at his father, before looking around curiously. Leo immediately caught onto this, turning to the candle that stood next to the bed. 

"Don't worry. Your father will be here any second." Kiragi smiled at that and nodded. Leo only put out the candle before he left the room. 

He did not actually know where Takumi was and frowned, looking around their house. He was happy that they chose to live in neither castle, but instead, in a small house, that was pretty much between Hoshido and Nohr. 

Takumi and Kiragi had gotten back late today, as they were out hunting, resulting in Kiragi proudly showing Leo the deer that they had killed. He had noticed that Takumi seemed rather down, even more so than usual, and then excused himself as Leo took care of their sons. 

He walked into the kitchen, seeing that his food was left untouched just where Leo had left it for him. It was rare, but Takumi sometimes needed space. Some alone time for himself and his mind. He had tried to explain it once but said that it was too complicated and that he did not want to bother Leo, and he did not push Takumi into speaking. 

If he felt uncomfortable speaking about something, especially something as personal as this, then he did not have to tell Leo if he did not want to. But Leo would be there to listen, and he hoped that Takumi knew this. 

After searching all throughout the house and not finding his husband, he decided to look in the garden, grabbing a blanket to throw over his shoulders as he walked out, a candle in his hand, so he would not trip and fall over something. 

It was still summer, but the nights could get cold, especially with the wind.

He opened the door a bit, the blanket around his shoulders as he looked through their garden. He felt relieved when he saw Takumi sitting there, on the bench under that one tree that was as tall and strong as no other tree had ever been in Nohr. Leo always felt protected when he sat there under the tree, as though its branches would keep any danger away. He loved sitting there and read or teach his children math when it was warm out.

Takumi sat there and looked out into the forest that wasn't too far away. Leo smiled as he closed the door behind himself, walking over to Takumi. "You had me worried," he said, Takumi turning to him, seemingly snapping out of thought. 

"Sorry, I...I forgot to tell you." 

Leo sat down next to him, "I assumed you have your reasons for not telling me. When you normally vanish for a while, you always have a reason to do so. But then again, it wasn't dark out when you did it before. With fall approaching, I would prefer you would tell me before heading off."

Takumi looked down and sighed, and Leo knew it wasn't good. Something was truly bothering Takumi, and he felt his heart sink with worry. 

He put the blanket over Takumi's shoulders as well, moving closer to him, "You know that you can always talk to me, Takumi. _Right_? I see that you are clearly suffering, and I...I want to help you. Want to be here for you."

Takumi closed his eyes as he leaned against Leo, making Leo's heart stutter just the way it always did. Leo took this chance and leaned his head on Takumi's shoulder, taking the man's hand in between his own. "It's stupid. _Pathetic_ even."

"It clearly is not. It hurts you."

"I...You know I was out with Kiragi today, yes? And...the way he just knows how to handle a bow it...it made me _jealous_ to watch my own son be this skilled at his young age. It hurts me to admit this, but I..." Takumi balled his hand to a fist, Leo holding it a little tighter "...I _lied_ to him, telling him his posture was off, just to tell him he was not perfect. As if not to admit it to myself."

Leo was quiet, listening to Takumi and waiting for more. When he was sure that his husband was finished, he tried to find something, anything, to say " _Takumi_ -"

"As I said before, it's pathetic. I am envious of my _own_ son. The person I should love and encourage, no matter what. And just because I am as _weak_ as I am, I can not tell him how good he really is. I am a bad father."

Leo lifted his head from Takumi's shoulder at that, frowning at the man, " _Pathetic? Weak_? A _bad_ father? Takumi, are you even listening to yourself?" The man in question looked over, "Takumi, in my eyes, those words are the furthest from the truth as they could be. You are the _strongest_ man I know, as you had to fight for everything and prove your worth to the world. You were disappointed and used again and again. I don't think I could ever move on from something like that."

Takumi looked away, but Leo only raised one hand to cup Takumi's cheek, turning his face back, "You are a good father, Takumi. Our children love you with all their heart. You are always there for them when they need you, and they trust you with their lives. It is normal to feel envious of someone if they are better than you at something when you spent all your life trying to perfect that certain craft. You just can not let that envy control you. You must try to face it and put it aside."

"I don't know if I can do that."

" _I know_ you can. Kiragi is your son. Of course, he will be an amazing archer, as he had everything pointed to that. And he will probably surpass you with his abilities, just as Forrest will surpass me. I am sure he _already_ has with his good heart and never-ending compassion. Something I lack and which makes me not as good of a person as it does him." Leo looked down at their hands, "I envied him at first and tried to put him down. I was never disappointed that he wanted to sew his own clothes and wear whatever he wanted. I just needed to find something to put him down. _And he was my child_."

Takumi looked at Leo with wide eyes, " _Leo_...I never knew."

"Forrest is everything I was never allowed to be. I was put to study and become what I am today. A cold mage and wannabe tactician made to fight in a war to kill. He does what he loves and expresses himself. I...I _was_ jealous of him." Leo smiled at Takumi. "But I learned to move on from that hate. That hate that I had towards _myself_ and used against my own blood. I understand that he is better than me, and he deserves that. I love him either way, he is my son after all."

Takumi met Leo's eyes. _He had never known about this, as Leo kept secretive of so much of his life. Just like he did with his running away for hours on end, lost in thought, some more violent and hurtful towards himself than others._

"That is what you need to learn, Takumi. Kiragi will surpass both of us because he is young and able to learn from _our_ mistakes without having to make them himself. He can grow up without having to fight in the war. He can be free to express himself and his hobbies, and we can assist him in that. _We_ can be at his side. Especially, _you_. He looks up to you and idolizes you. He wants to be _just_ like you."

"He should not strive to be me. There are far better archer's out there, more talented and strong than I will ever be."

"They might be strong in terms of muscles, but they are not nearly as strong mentally. You have gone through so much, but are still sitting here with me right now. _I love you_ for that, more than you can imagine. I love your strength and just everything about you. Even the things you hate about yourself, as small as they might be. I know how hard it was for you to open up about that, but I love _everything_ about you. Every part of you, down to every inch of your body and every fiber of your existence. I never imagined being as proud as I am to wear that ring on my finger and have the honor to call myself your husband."

Takumi felt himself blush and warm up as he looked into those red beauties that always reminded him of rose petals or the colors of a sunrise. 

"Our sons love you just as much, and we are _always_ here for you. And if you need us, we are here for you because we are family, and _we love you_ , Takumi." Takumi was surprised to see tears shine in the corner of Leo's eyes. The man tried to blink them away, but Takumi hugged Leo, breaking the man's last walls. " _I_ ...when I hear you say those _hurtful_ things about yourself, _it just_ ...it kills me to know that you think of yourself that way. And not being able to properly help you _just_ ..." he whispered with a shaky voice in Takumi's ear, and Takumi just held him tighter. "I _fear_ for you and...I'm afraid that one day you will wander off and... _and_ ..." he sniffled "... _and you won't come back_."

Takumi closed his eyes, simply holding Leo, both staying quiet as the crickets chirped away in the grass, and the wind played with leaves in the tree. 

" _I'm sorry that I worried you, Leo_."

" _No_ , don't be sorry."

"But I _am_. You should not have to worry about me. I will try to be more open about... _this_. I won't make promises, but I can try."

"That is all I want. And try to be kinder to yourself. Give yourself some credit every now and then. You are an _amazing_ man and an _even better_ husband and father." Takumi smiled as he leaned his head against Leo's, yawning. 

"We should probably head inside and go to bed."

Leo only nodded, sleepily, before he grabbed the candle and made his way to the door. Takumi stayed on the bench just a little longer, looking in the forest, Leo's words echoing in his mind.

_'I fear for you and...I'm afraid that one day you will wander off and...and_ **_you won't come back_ ** _.'_

" _Takumi_?" Leo asked, sleepily rubbing his eye, snapping Takumi out of thought.

"I'm coming."

Leo stopped on their way to the bedroom, slowly opening Kiragi's door, seeing both of their boys asleep, entangled in their blankets. " _They look so peaceful._ " he whispered as he turned to his husband, " _You did not tell them good night._ "

_"I totally forgot._ "

" _No time better than the present_ ." he kissed Takumi's cheek, " _I'll put away some dirty dishes before the rats come crawling. You can handle two sleeping children, right_?"

Takumi rolled his eyes and playfully elbowed Leo in the side. 

Takumi then walked towards his sons, smiling at them, before he leaned down and kissed both of them on their foreheads, " _I love you. Both of you_."

He looked at Kiragi, gently pushing some strands of unkempt hair out of his shut eyes. He thought about Leo's words and looked at both of them, laying there. He sighed as he smiled. And just the way that his heart warmed as he saw them laying there and the way he felt at ease and content, knowing that they were safe was everything he needed. 

_He loved them, and that was what counted. And he was loved, as well, even if he had a hard time believing it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by Takumi's and Kiragi's support conversations and I could not resist. Hope you enjoyed this :)


	2. 'girl'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forrest is out in the city, where he is approached by two boys who get a little too close for comfort, thinking he was a girl. When he gets home, Leo heads out with a mission.

"Are you _sure_ that you don't want me to come along?" Leo asked, his hands on his hips, concerned eyes on his son. 

Forrest turned to him with a wide smile on his lips, "I _am_ sure. Why don't you enjoy the alone time you have with father? With Kiragi and me gone for a few hours, you two can finally spend some time alone again."

"Just...be careful then. I don't like the thought of you walking into town alone, no matter how long you are there. You are royalty, and if someone were to attack or capture you..." Leo sighed, "I would never forgive myself if you were hurt because I did not come along."

Forrest hugged his father, before kissing him on the cheek, "I will be careful and hurry back. Is there really nothing you two need?" Forrest looked over Leo's shoulder to Takumi, who turned to his son. 

"If you bring back some tomatoes, your father will be the happiest man and forget that he ever worried about you," Takumi said with a smile, to which Leo only whipped around and glared at Takumi, who put his hair up to tie it into a ponytail.

Leo sighed, "Just hurry back, Forrest." he said with a smile, and Forrest only nodded, starting to walk.

-

The city was by no means big, but the market was always lively with all kinds of people. Most were from the city, but there were always travelers from both kingdoms, now that the war was over. 

There were always some farmers with fresh products, from milk and eggs to all sorts of vegetables imaginable. There was this kind old woman that smiled at Forrest as he walked by, selling her self made bows. 

They were cute, and Forrest seriously thought about buying one, but he could just as easily make one himself, as that wasn't the hardest. He had to finish the garment he was working on first, and not let himself get distracted. That damn garment was the reason he was in the city.

It was something that he wanted to make for his brother. Forrest could not rest seeing his brother run around in pants that had holes big enough to house rabbits or were so dirty that the mud would not wash out again. 

So, he wanted to make him something more useful. Something that would not rip at the first thornbush. Or stain for ages when it comes in contact with mud. 

So he had to purchase some more leather, seeing as he did not work with it that often. 

As he searched the market for the right merchant, he had noticed that some boys were seemingly following him, talking to themselves, and Forrest did not know if it was him that they were talking about, and he quite frankly could not care less, but they were on his mind. 

A part of his brain was on alert, seeing as they weren't just walking the same way he was. They were following him, stopping when he stopped. Walking to the opposite side when he turned around. 

The longer those boys were around him, the more uncomfortable Forrest got. He just wanted to buy the things he needed and hurry back home. _That should not be too hard, right?_

As he stopped by the merchant that sold the best leather, he could not help the feeling that he was being watched. The man in front of him also seemed to notice this, but only smiled, " _Seems like you got their interest_." 

Forrest ignored it, just changing his attention to the leather in front of him. After he grabbed what he needed and paid the merchant, he wanted to just head home. His original plan was to look around some more, maybe find something for his parents or his brother. 

But now he just wanted to make sure he made it home safe. Just like he had promised his father.

He hurried over the market, and just when he was sure that he had made it, he felt someone grab his wrist, and seconds later, he was pulled into an ally. His heart was pounding, and he feared that it ould jump out of his chest. 

He let go of the bag he was holding, the leather hitting the ground, as he was pinned against the closest wall. He looked up with wide eyes, meeting ice blue ones that seemed to pierce right through him. 

"How come a _beautiful_ dame like you walks the streets all alone?" the boy smiled, revealing that he was missing a tooth. Forrest looked back to the market, thinking about any possible way he could escape the situation. 

"Look, she dropped her hat." another boy said, picking his hat up before placing it on Forrest's head again. "And _her hair._ " he grabbed ahold of his locks, his breathing speeding up. He felt fear grip his limbs as the men laughed. 

"Let go of me, you _mongrel_!" he said, trying to pull free and out of the men's grasp. 

The men laughed, "Now that is no way to talk to a man now, is it?" 

"I think she wants to challenge you."

"Well, then she has to learn the _hard_ way." the man that pinned him to the wall said, his hand traveling over Forrest's body. 

Forrest felt tears burn in the corner of his eye, kneeing the man in his crotch, before shoving him away when he let go of his hands. "I said _back off_!" his voice was shaking more than he liked to admit, and his knees felt weak. 

The other boy raised his hand, and Forrest felt the pain as the fist collided with his nose. He just kicked the boy off, grabbing his stuff and running.

His lungs were burning, and the tears were spilling over as the adrenalin made him run as fast as he never had before. He was as scared that they were behind him. That they would catch him. He was running through a patch of forest and scared that they would catch up with him here. 

When he saw his house getting bigger he slowed down a little, looking back and wiping away tears and blood. He never wanted to see those icy eyes ever again. He just wanted to go home.

-

"No, you are doing it _all_ wrong!" Leo said with a smile, grabbing Takumi's wrists and stopping him. 

"What are you saying? There is no wrong way to cut tomatoes."

Leo looked at him with fake shock, " _How_ could my _own husband_ say something so _horrible_? I think if I saw you cut tomatoes before you proposed, we would not be here right now."

"You know, you Nohrians are really weird when it comes to certain stuff."

Leo rolled his eyes, turning back to the stew that they were preparing. 

Both of them froze when they heard the door being slammed open. Leo immediately walked into the hallway, looking as to who entered, and froze. Takumi joined him not even a second later, knife still in hand. 

_"Forrest_ !" Leo hurried to his son, who had fallen to his knees, and was shaking as badly as Leo had never seen before, "Forrest, _dear_ , what happened?" Leo softly lifted his son's face, and when he saw his bloody nose, his blood was boiling, even though he tried to conceal it, wanting to help his son first.

Forrest held onto Leo tightly, Takumi waking back to the kitchen to grab some water and cloth. "T-there...there were these two..." he was sobbing badly after that, his shaky hands grabbing onto Leo tightly. "I was so scared, father. I was _scared_ of what...what they would _do_ to me."

Leo looked up to Takumi, the two silently agreeing to make it their mission to find whoever broke Forrest like that. Takumi knelt down next to them, and Forrest slightly pushed himself off Leo, taking the cup of water and wiping his tears and a bloody nose. 

_"They_ ...they thought I was a girl, so they followed me all over the market. I wanted to hurry back, but...they pulled me into that ally _and_..." Forrest looked down, brows furrowed. 

" _And_?" Leo asked softly, fearing what comes next, cursing himself for not coming along. 

"And _they_ ...they asked why I'm out alone and...and tried to _touch_ me."

"They... _what_?" It was harder and harder for Leo to contain his burning rage that was building underneath his skin. 

"I pushed them off, and then one hit me. I ran back here after immediately." 

Takumi's and Leo's eyes met before they looked back at Forrest. 

"Well, I am glad you made it home safe. How about we cook you some tea and I will run you a bath?" Takumi suggested, and Forrest only nodded. 

As Takumi assisted Forrest with getting up and sent him to the living room, Leo turned to his husband. "As I can see, you would not mind taking care of him while I go and take care of _other business_. Right, dear?"

Takumi shook his head, reaching over and grabbing Brynhildr for Leo, Leo taking it from his hands, kissing his cheek. " _Make them hurt_."

He closed the door behind himself, his hands balled to fists so hard that his knuckles were turning white. He would find them and make them regret ever being born.

As he walked the street that leads to the city, he was not surprised to see two men walking in his direction. When they saw him, their faces lit up, "Excuse me, sir, would you have a minute to assist us? We are looking for my girl. She seems to have run off, and I am looking for her."

Leo smiled at the man, "Of course not. Would you mind telling me how she looks?"

The men smiled at each other before turning back, "Well, she wore mainly pink, this cute little hat. Uhm...she had really gorgeous blonde locks, her hair was longer than her shoulders. Oh, and she had cute grey eyes."

Leo acted as though he was thinking, "There was someone who passed through that sounds like them."

" _Yeah_? Where did she go?"

Leo pulled out Brynhildr, and immediately branches were shooting out of the ground, lifting the men in the air, he curled the branches around the men's arms, legs, and slowly their neck. He increased the pressure slowly, making the men cry out in pain. 

"It would have been better if you two would have left my son alone."

" _Son? What_..."

"You are talking about my son. He was out buying his stuff, and you _perverted bastards_ felt it was your right..." he increased the pressure "...to pull him away from the street, huh? If you approach him or even _dare_ look at him again, I will make sure you two won't see anything else ever again. I will find you, and I will murder you most painfully. Right there on the spot."

" _Who...do you think you are?!_ "

"Prince Leo of Nohr." Leo smiled hearing the first bones crack under the pressure, "Now run back to mommy before I finish you off right here and now." he released them, the men falling onto the ground. They immediately ran away, dragging themselves on the ground. 


	3. proud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forrest feels insecure about showing Leo his newest tailoring project, because of something Leo said years ago and which stuck with Forrest. Takumi does what he can to help his husband and son talk stuff out.

Whenever Forrest was working on one of his new projects, be it designing or actually working on the projects and giving them life, he was focused entirely on his work. He had told his brother and fathers to always knock before coming in. But of course, they never actually did.

"Forrest?" Takumi opened the door to his son's room, said son almost jumping out of his skin, some stray hair falling out of his messy bun.

" _Dad_!"

Takumi smiled apologetically, closing the door behind himself, not wanting to bother Leo and Kiragi in the living room. Kiragi always had a hard time focusing on math as it is.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." Takumi said as he was walking over to his son. It was raining outside, and he had nothing to do since Leo and Kiragi were learning. Or Leo was trying to teach Kiragi something, while the latter was trying his absolute best.

Forrest just composed himself, sitting up again and turning back to his desk. Takumi looked down at the drawings laid out on Forrest's desk, "I-I told you to knock first." Forrest said, a soft blush forming on his cheeks as he saw what his father was looking at.

Takumi fingers traced over one piece in particular that got Forrest heart racing. "Forrest, these are _stunning_."

" _W-what_?"

Takumi smiled at Forrest, "You are seriously talented. All of these look gorgeous. Especially this one." his hand stopped at the piece, and Forrest looked away.

"That's...just a side project. I'm not really working on it. Its...not important."

"What do you mean? This tunic looks like a true passion project. And it most certainly looks amazing. The greens and all-around natural colors make it really appealing. You can be proud of yourself, Forrest." Takumi said, one hand on Forrest's shoulder.

" _Dad_..." Forrest tried to hide his face, feeling himself warm up after hearing such praise, especially from his father.

"Is it... Is it inspired by the Woodland Hero?" Takumi asked, "The legend that you always loved as a child. The one I could still tell even in sleep because you would not rest if I would not read or tell it to you."

Forrest immediately felt his joy dampening. He took the drawing from under his father's hand, ready to crumble it up to a ball and throw it away, "It...is. _I'm sorry_. You shouldn't have seen it."

Takumi furrowed his brows in question as he softly stopped Forrest's hands, taking them in his own after taking the paper from them and placing it on the desk, "Forrest, there is _nothing_ about this you need to be sorry for."

"It is childish and stupid. I'm sorry about that. I feel like this is inappropriate for someone my age."

"You sound like you are an elder who has lived for the last one hundred years. Forrest, let me assure you that I am so happy that you are following your passion like this and bring in things you loved and still love." Takumi looked at the paper again, "I was so happy that Kiragi and you loved the Woodland Hero as it was my favorite legend back when I was little. It inspired me and got me to train and fight with a sword."

"You know how to swordfight?" Forrest asked, intrigue shining through, "Why have I never seen you use one?"

"I stopped because Ryoma beat me in every playful duel we had, and I discouraged myself like you are right now. I made myself believe that I would never be enough and was being stupid to fight with the sword, as I was never going to be the best. Ryoma would always beat me with the sword. So... I started training with the bow."

"But... Are you not happy that things turned out this way?"

"That is not what I was trying to tell you. I am happy to have you, your brother, and your father with me. I am happy to call a legendary bow my own. But if I would have followed my passion, I would probably be even happier. You all make me happy. But I am hard on myself ever since I decided to go against myself and listen to those doubts for once."

Forrest looked at his and his father's hands" Do not listen to those doubts, Forrest. I am proud of you for doing this. And I am happy you are expressing yourself and are doing what you love. Leo is proud of you, as well. He just... has a harder time telling you that."

 _"Is...Is that true_?" Forrest asked, his eyes lighting up. Takumi nodded with a smile.

"You should hear him sometimes. Whenever you walk around the house with something you made, he can not stop talking about how beautiful your tailoring is and how you put Nohrs best tailors to shame with your skill."

Forrest smiled and chewed his lip, something he always did when he was thinking," I... I was actually planning on making this tunic next, but it seems I don't have the right fabrics."

"Alright. Then let us go into town and look if they sell the ones you need there."

Forrest sat up straight and watched as Takumi made his way to the door, " _What_? Like right now?"

"It is just raining, Forrest. We will be fine. Unless you do not want to." Takumi stopped, hand on the doorknob."

"Of... Of course, I want to! Just... Just give me a moment. I am in no way going out like... _this_."

Takumi smiled to himself, "Alright. I'll wait outside."

As Takumi left the room, he saw how Leo and Kiragi turned to him. He walked over to them as he opened his low messy ponytail, his hair falling open. 

Leo watched him with cautious eyes, "And where are you headed off to if I may ask?"

"I'm going into town with Forrest. He needs to pick up some stuff he forgot, and I'll assist him. Do you need anything?"

Leo looked into the kitchen, thinking, "I... Don't think so." he smiled up at Takumi again, standing up a second later to help his husband get his perfect ponytail right and tying them together.

"Have you two made progress?"

"We did!" Kiragi said excitedly.

" _Barely_ ," Leo added with a sigh and sat down again.

"Don't be so hard on him, he's doing his best. _Right_?" Takumi looked to his son, who nodded excitedly. Takumi grabbed Fuyin Yumi and kissed Leo on his head.

"Be careful. And stay out of trouble, okay?"

"Always."

-

It was late evening, and Kiragi was sound asleep in bed. He said that he needed the energy for hunting, as he wanted to get up as early as possible. 

Leo fell asleep on Takumi's shoulder a while back, and he did not dare move Leo as he looked peaceful and did not want to risk waking him. He had taken the book from his hands and folded the corner of the page he was reading, so he would not lose it. 

Takumi was polishing Fuyin Yumi and enjoyed the peacefulness the night brought along. The way Leo was softly snoring next to him, moving ever so slightly from time to time. The soft candlelight falling on the both of them.

When he started to feel himself tire, he had no choice but to try and carry Leo to bed, as he was still sound asleep leaning against him. 

He just put down the bow, turning to Leo and carrying him, one hand on his back, the other under his knees. It was always fascinating to Takumi how light the man was, and it worried him more often than not. 

As he was carrying the man that was snuggling up to his chest, he walked past Forrest's room and saw that there was light coming from inside the room.

He continued his path to their bedroom, laying Leo down, whose eyes fluttered open for a moment. Takumi softly caressed his face, sending the man back to sleep almost immediately. He placed a soft kiss on Leo's forehead before he walked back to Forrest room.

He knocked softly, and after Forrest answered him, he walked into the room.

"Forrest, why _in the name of the gods_ are you still awake?"

Forrest beamed at him. He grabbed Takumi's wrist and pulled him further in the room. He was clearly exhausted, but the pure child-like gleam in his eyes filled Takumi's heart with joy.

" _I finished it!_ You _have_ to see it." and as Takumi looked past his son to the puppet Forrest had put it on, he fell in love.

" _Wow_..." he said, walking to the Mannequin, tracing the soft fabric with his fingers. "Forrest, you have outdone yourself with this one. It is absolutely stunning. I... You have to show Kiragi and Leo tomorrow."

" _W-wait_..." Forrest said, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt, "I don't know about that."

"About what?" Takumi turned to his son, his hair carelessly falling over his shoulder.

"About...shoving the others. Especially dad." Forrest looked down.

Takumi walked back over to his son again, "What do you mean? Are you not proud of your work?"

"N-No, _I am_! But... I don't know. I just don't feel comfortable showing it to others. _I don't want to disappoint dad again._ "

Takumi laid a hand on Forrest's shoulder. Just knowing that something like that stuck with Forrest to this day pained him. Something Leo said when Forrest first started tailoring and sewing his own dresses because his own father had stuff like that ingrained into him. He had been trying to make up for that incident for years, and he regretted ever saying it and beat himself up for scarring his own son like that. 

"Forrest dear, he does not think of you that way. He _loves_ you and is the proudest a father could be to call you his son. He brags about you to anyone who asks how you are"

Forrest didn't look up but only sighed, "I... I don't know."

Takumi walked back over to his sleep-deprived son, his hands on his son's shoulders, making him look up, "Leo is so damn proud of you, Forrest. He loves you more than you could ever imagine, and it kills him to know that he ever said such a mean thing to you. I know it probably doesn't mean a lot coming from me, but he wants you to know just that. He has been working to get out of that bubble his father had put him in and get rid of that set mindset. That is why it is hard for him to tell you what he thinks of you."

Forrest held his father's gaze, "Really?" 

Takumi smiled, "Really. Just give him a little more time. But showing him your work could be a start for both of you to start over again. If you would give him a chance." 

"Of course, I would! I'm just..." he gripped the hem of his shirt tighter "... _scared_." 

Takumi looked back to the tunic, "Then how about I wear it tomorrow?"

"You _what_?"

"I wear it tomorrow. I will be careful to not tear it, of course. But that way, Leo and Kiragi can appreciate your fine work and tell you what they think without them saying it to your face."

Forrest was quiet for a while, so Takumi turned back, "You... Would do that?"

"Is there something a father would not do for his child? That is basically, what I am here for, and I would be honored if you allowed me to wear it."

"I- _of course_! Then let me just make some adjustments."

Takumi smiled, "Good. Then I will see you tomorrow morning. Sleep tight, Forrest."

Takumi then made his way back to the bedroom, seeing that Leo was still sleeping. He had his brows furrowed, and the blanket clutched in fists. His nights were always plagued by nightmares when Takumi wasn't there. 

Leo told him once, and he saw how it killed his husband inside to admit to such weakness. Takumi being there calmed him and kept the nightmares away. 

As soon as he got into bed, he saw how Leo's eyes opened slowly, " _There you are._ " he said with a low, raspy voice, cuddling closer to Takumi. 

" _I'm sorry. Forrest needed something. But I am here now._ " 

Leo only hummed, eyes already closed again. 

-

Takumi stood in the kitchen making breakfast, as he heard how life was coming back into this sleepy household. Kiragi almost kicked open his door, running out of his room. 

Takumi stopped and furrowed his brows at his son, who ran around hastily, collecting his things. " _Kiragi_!" 

His son stopped immediately, Takumi walking over to him. He straightened his clothes with his hands and tied some knots again. 

"You know how important it is to take the time to tie everything tightly. Especially when you go out to hunt."

"I know... But I overslept, and I'm kinda trying to get to it as fast as possible."

"That's careless. Even when you oversleep, you have to always take care of stuff like that." He smiled and looked at his son, his hands on his hips. 

" _I know_..." Kiragi sighed and looked to his feet before he looked up again, "Nice tunic. I didn't know you had such nice things in your closet, dad."

Takumi knew that his son wanted to sweet-talk his way out of this but allowed it because he knew that Forrest was listening. "Forrest actually made it and let me wear it," he said, looking down on himself, smiling. 

"I guessed that much. I haven't seen tailoring this flawless anywhere else. Forrest really is talented. I sometimes wish he would make something for me." 

"I didn't know you were a fan of ruffles and ribbons, son."

Kiragi laughed, "I wouldn't wear that, but maybe something for hunting. The stuff I wear tears so easy, and I see the way it pains Forrest to see me walk around in stuff like that."

"You could always ask him, I am sure he would gladly make you something." 

"I'll make sure to ask him when I'm back." 

Kiragi made his way out the door, and Forrest felt warm and fuzzy. He tried to keep his heart calm, but it felt as though it would jump out of his chest at any given moment. He held his face in his hands and felt how warm his face was, knowing that he probably challenged tomatoes at this point. 

Takumi smiled and looked to Forrest's door, seeing that it wasn't closed and just the tiniest bit open. _He just hoped that Forrest was listening. He needed this confidence booster more than anyone._

Takumi then walked back to the kitchen when he heard the bedroom door open. Out came a very sleepy Leo and Takumi smiled at the sight. "Good Morning. So you _finally_ decided to join us." 

Leo stretched as he walked over. He wasn't a morning person and hated how Takumi and Kiragi had so much power and energy in the morning. 

He walked over to Takumi and laid his head on his shoulder, cuddling up against the man. Takumi smiled, "Did you sleep well?"

"Better than usual. Is Kiragi out yet?" 

"He just left." 

Leo only hummed. Takumi took the teapot and poured three cups of tea before he turned around. Leo immediately took this chance to cuddle up against Takumi again, the man now able to hold him as well. 

Leo wasn't one for showing affection through actions. At first, he had a hard time showing emotions and being vulnerable. But now he was able to let go of his stoic personality and just be a sleepy man, feeling comfort in the arms of his husband. 

Leo raised his head from Takumi's shoulder to look at the man. He eyed him up and down, "I didn't know you owned such fine garments." his eyes met Takumi's. 

Takumi saw how Forrest door slowly opened more, revealing his nervous son, "Well, I don't. Forrest made this, and I took the opportunity when he asked if I could wear it." 

Leo smiled, "It looks _incredible_ as always." Leo's hands softly traced over the fabrics "His love for details really shows how much he loves doing this. And his tailoring seems to get even more perfect with anything he does." Leo's smile faded, " _I am happy he didn't stop_ ." He closed his eyes, "If he would have stopped because of me I... _I wouldn't have been able to live with myself._ " 

Takumi looked at his slightly taller husband, " _Leo_..." 

" _S-sorry I_..."

" _Is that true?_ " Leos's eyes snapped open, and he turned to his son. Forrest's voice was quiet, but Leo felt it like a knife in his heart. 

Takumi looked from his son to his husband. Takumi took this as the opportunity for both of them to talk stuff through. He took his cup of tea before he made his way out into the garden. 

" _Did you really mean that, father?_ " Forrest asked again, his hands gripping his shirt so hard that his knuckles were turning white. He looked down, feeling unable to look into his father's eyes. 

Seeing his son like this pained Leo. It reminded him of himself, even younger than Forrest was now, having to convince himself to ask his father anything. His father was cruel, and he feared him, knowing that he was lucky that _if_ he stepped out of line, he would only get punished and not killed. 

_You would recover from a fist or a stick, but never a sword or an ax._

Leo never wanted his children to fear him. He never wanted them to feel scared of him. But he failed. Forrest was scared, and he saw it. And it was killing him. 

"I... _I did_." his voice was just as quiet as Forrests was, and his son looked up at him with wide eyes. 

They looked at each other, and Forrest felt tears fighting their way out. He didn't want to cry. 

Leo saw this fight and opened his arms, and Forrest looked at his father before he could not resist any longer and ran into his father's arms. As soon as Leo closed his arms around him, Forrest's tears began to fall freely. He clung onto his father, all the fear and nervousness falling from him as he cried against his father's shoulder. 

Leo held Forrest tight, closing his eyes as he rested his head on his sons. "I am so... _so incredibly_ sorry, Forrest. For _everything_. I never meant to hurt you, but I did. And I saw how it pained you every time you wore something you made, and I looked at you. I saw the fear in your eyes and knew that it was my fault. I wanted to make it up to you somehow, but I was scared you would not accept it. I was scared you _hated me_ or felt that I hated you, which was _never_ the case."

Forrest held Leo tighter, " _Forrest, I love you_. Whatever may happen, I just want you to know that. I know that I can never take back the words I said, and it does not matter that I did not intend to hurt you. I did hurt you, and that is not excusable. I am proud of you, my son, and no matter if you accept this apology or not, I just want you to know that."

Leo swallowed, fighting his own tears, "Your works are gorgeous, Forrest, and you are as talented as every tailor on this world combined. I wish more people would see and recognize your talent. I wish _I_ would have recognized your talent sooner and did not try to destroy the passion you had and still have. So yes, my sweet angel, I _meant_ it. Every word I just said."

Forrest sniffled. _This was it. Everything he ever wanted to hear. His father was sorry for the things he said. He regretted it_ ." _What if_... What if it happens again?" he said quietly against his father's shoulder. 

"What do you mean?" Forrest was quiet, biting his lip again, too nervous to speak his mind, "Forrest, you are free to speak your mind. If you have worries regarding me, then please feel free to tell them to me. I will not hate you for doing so. I want you to feel safe and loved." 

Forrest sighed, "W-What if it happens again? _T-that I disappoint you again_?" 

Hearing those shaky words felt like a knife twisted in Leo's gut. He pushed Forrest away the tiniest bit, seeing how his eyes widened in worry.

Leo looked into his son's eyes, "It won't happen again. I swear to you that it will never happen again. You are not a disappointment, Forrest. It makes me proud to be able to call myself your father. You are not a disappointment to me or our family. _I love you, Forrest._ "

" _B-But you said_..."

"I-I know. And I will regret saying these words to you until the day I die. I was unhappy with myself and conflicted. When I saw you live out your passion and see you passionate about something so unusual for a boy, it showed me what _I_ was never allowed to be. I should have never let this rage, hatred, and unhappiness that I had towards myself out on you, my son. If I could, I would take them back, but I know that I can't. I can only try to be better and make you feel loved and supported. Help you move past those hurtful words." Leo paused, " _If_ you accept me and give me a second chance."

Forrest smiled and hugged his father, " _Always, dad. I love you too_."

"Then let us move forward together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a vent until the talk. Well, I put myself in Forrest. 
> 
> One can only wish to get a parent to admit they hurt you and see their mistakes without guilt-tripping and blaming you and another who does everything to help you feel better, right?


	4. worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo has woken up after passing out for a week and has to help his worried husband with problems regarding Oboro.

Leo sighed as he rested his head back against the cherry blossom tree. He took a deep breath as he listened to Kiragi and Sakura giggle and smiled to himself.

"Dad, look!" Leo opened his eyes and looked to his son, who held the flower crown he was making between his fingers. He stood up and walked over to his father, laying it on top of the soft blonde disheveled strands.

"I think you need a few more flowers," Sakura said with her soft voice, lowering the one she was making.

"It looks beautiful, Kiragi," Leo said, a soft but exhausted smile on his lips.

"Thanks. Do you think I should make one for Forrest as well?"

Leo smiled, "You can. But I don't know how long it would stay on his head." he was happy that Kiragi was ecstatic about getting a brother and loved Forrest from day one.

"Great! I think there were these really beautiful pink flowers back there..." Kiragi muttered the last part to himself. He placed the finished crown on his father's head before he walked off.

Leo sighed again, his hand holding his abdomen as he breathed slowly. Sakura noticed this "H-how are you doing?" she asked, brushing her hair back behind her ear.

" _Exhausted_ , but good," he answered with a smile.

"That's good. M-may I ask if you are in any pain?"

"No. It just feels weird, but...there is no need to worry, Sakura. I just need some more rest." Sakura nodded. "Thank you for looking out for our boys."

Sakura giggled and blushed, "Oh, it's t-totally alright. It's the least I could do. We all love taking care of them."

"We are both grateful beyond telling. To all of you," Leo said, a yawn creeping up his throat.

Sakura smiled again, "Maybe you should go inside again. I would stay out here with Kiragi some more if that is alright?"

"Of course. If you would excuse me." Sakura only nodded as Leo fought himself up, leaning against the tree before walking inside again.

-

Leo held his stomach as he was walking. The uncomfortable pulling was driving him insane. It was just like after Kiragi was born. He knew that this would happen, but it still bothered him. 

Takumi and him had wanted children for years. Takumi was the first to ever mention how he would like having a child running around their small house. About the pitter-patter of small feet on the stairs. The new life it would bring into their life.

But they were both men, and there was nothing they could change about that. They were physically incapable of getting biological kids. _Or so they thought._

It did not leave Leo's mind, especially when he remembered how Takumi's eyes lost light as they knew they would never have biological children. He hated not being able to give Takumi and himself this.

Leo had looked through every book he got his fingers on, searching for something that would make it possible. There was a spell for almost everything, and he knew that. So he did not give up.

And in one sleepless night, he had found it. The spell that was made for couples who could not get children for some reason. It would give one partner the ability to carry and then give birth to a child. The downside was the immense strain it would have on the person. 

It wasn't just a physical strain, seeing as Leo's body was not made to carry and much less deliver a child. But there was also the magical strain. The pull that was always pulling on his limbs and exhausted him on a deep, cellular level. The price he paid for even being able to have children. 

And he felt it even afterward. The pull was still there as his body was going back to the way it was before. He lost the physical changes almost immediately after. But his body was so thoroughly exhausted that he passed out for over a week after giving birth, as his body was trying to find balance again.

As he opened the door to Takumi's old room, he was surprised to not see either his husband or his newborn. He closed the door again, choosing to look for Takumi. 

-

"He is _so_ cute," Oboro said, leaning down and cooing over the boy in Takumi's arms. "He looks just like you, Milord."

Takumi smiled and raised an eyebrow, "He does not in the slightest resemble me. He looks just like Leo." he chose to ignore his retainers' small face of disgust at the mention of his husband.

"I see you in him. How could he not resemble you, Milord? Your beautiful nose is just like his. And the soft curve of his beautiful lips is just like yours." she said, taking Forrest into her own arms.

Takumi looked at her with a raised eyebrow. _He wanted to know something. What was it that he wanted to ask her? It seemed so important, but Oboro had started talking about Forrest and how cute he was, and he forgot everything._

"It is hard to imagine that part of his heritage is _Nohrian_ with such cute eyes."

" _What is that supposed to mean_?" Takumi asked his hand on his hips. He hated how Oboro was still not fully supportive of the Nohrians, and it hurt him when she made snarky comments about Leo and his children.

Oboro looked up and met his eyes immediately, "I am sorry, Milord. I was just saying how most Nohrians lack that spark that little Forrest has."

"Oboro, we talked about this. I _do not_ want to hear you talk about Nohrians like this again. _Especially_ my husband and children." Takumi met the eyes of his retainer, and she looked down immediately, noticing that she risked it and stepped over the line.

"I am sorry, Milord. It won't happen again."

After that, it was quiet between them. As Takumi watched his retainer hold Forrest with such gentleness and care, he smiled, tucking some stray hair behind his ear. "You look like you would be an amazing mother, Oboro." Oboro immediately flushed a deep shade of red, stopping every motion, just looking down.

_Did Takumi just tell her that? Did he praise her motherly skill? Was he saying that she would be a good mother? Perhaps even of his children? She was holding his son after all. Maybe he liked the sight of her holding Forrest?_

"D-do you really think so...Milord?"

Takumi was too focused on his son to notice that his retainer took his message differently than he thought. He did not see that child-like glee in her eyes as she looked at him. 

But Leo did. Leo saw the way she looked at his husband. That hopeful childish glee in her eyes as she was holding his son like Forrest was her own. Looking at his husband like a love-struck teenager.

The uncomfortable feeling in his abdomen, and the pain in his back, were all secondary to the sudden sting in his heart. 

"Of course, Oboro. You are kind and loving to the people closest to you. You inspire others, and your tailoring is the best in all of Hoshido." he took Forrest back into his own arms.

They had both not realized Leo up to this point. Leo just tried to convince himself that there was no need to worry. _Takumi was a faithful man. He would never even think of others in that way_. 

_But maybe, Leo wasn't enough for Takumi._

_Maybe Oboro would be a better partner for him. Maybe she could give him everything he needed and fulfill his needs._

He swallowed and shook his head. He hated that his hormones and body were not one hundred percent back to normal. If that were the case, he would not question himself. 

He would walk over and show Oboro that Takumi is his husband and that he would not tolerate her flirting with him.

_But he couldn't._

He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, taking a deep, shaky breath. _His body was too exhausted for this_. 

As he turned to walk back to Takumi's room, he noticed that Oboro was looking at him, smirking.

-

He closed the door behind himself, not noticing that the flower crown had fallen off his head. He laid down on their bed, his body hurting, and every muscle screaming for sleep. 

But even though his body was this thoroughly exhausted, he just could not fall asleep. So he laid there, looking at the wall, his thoughts circling in his head. 

He did not look up when he heard the sliding door open and close. He knew that that was Takumi.

His husband was silent as he placed their sleeping son in his crib, before walking over to Leo. He wanted to tuck the blanket over Leo, thinking he was still asleep. 

" _Takumi_." the man in question stopped.

" _You are awake_ ." he smiled, even though Leo couldn't see it. Leo held the pillow tighter. "How are you? Is there _anything_ I can do for you? Are you in pain? I-"

" _No_." Leo just said and sighed. He turned around, and his back was in pain. "I am alright."

Takumi furrowed his brows, "You are not. You just winced in pain as you turned over. Let me help."

Leo just sat up as Takumi moved behind him, his warm hands on Leo's shoulder. He kissed Leo's neck as he softly began to massage the man's aching shoulders, seemingly knowing just where the pain was without Leo telling him. "I am so incredibly happy that you are awake again."

Leo winced as Takumi worked away at an especially painful knot. "It is so scary to see you pass out like that. To see you in so much pain and how you push your body so far beyond its limits..." his hands stopped moving as he sighed.

He hugged Leo from behind, making sure to not hold him too tightly, "And then you just laid there for a week. Your body not moving an inch. I sat beside you day and night _and_ ... And I just watched your chest rise and fall, hoping to be here when you open your eyes." Takumi went silent before he whispered, " _I am sorry_." he leaned his head on Leo's shoulder, holding him the tiniest bit tighter.

"What are you sorry for?" Leo asked softly, feeling incredibly bad for ever doubting if his husband was faithful or not.

"I am sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. I was looking for Ryoma, but then Oboro caught me in the hallway, and she distracted me." He sighed again, "I am grateful to have her by my side, but _lately she_..." he stopped, and so did Leo's heart.

Leo leaned against Takumi, "What did she do?"

"She made moves on me again and again. I don't know what she is thinking. She always talks so badly about you and your family, and it hurts me. If she continues this, then I have to let her go."

" _Takumi_..."

Takumi was quiet, " _She tried to kiss me, multiple times._ She began talking about how good of a family we would be. Earlier I told her that she would be a good mother, and then she started saying how good she would take care of our children, _even though_ they are part Nohrian..."

Leo leaned his head against Takumi's, " _Takumi_ -"

"I don't know what to do about her. She has been by my side for so long. But if she keeps this up... If she says this stuff about you and our kids again...Then she forces me to act."

Leo wiggled himself out of Takumi's embrace and turned to face his husband. He cupped his face with soft hands, making his husband meet his eyes. 

" _I don't know what to do about her, Leo_."

Leo sighed, "You probably want my honest opinion, do you not?" Takumi nodded, "Give her one more chance. If she slips up after that, even in the slightest, let her go. Explain to her that this is her last chance, or else she can not come back here." Leo paused, "If you let her go, and I see her anywhere near you or our children, I will not hesitate to take action against her _myself_. And that will not end pretty for her."

Takumi sighed and looked down, "I know."

"You have to understand that even though she has been at your side longer than I have been, she is still _just_ your retainer. You don't know her. You don't know what she is capable of. And every time I see her make ' _the face_ ' whenever you mention me or she sees me...I am afraid of what she could do whenever I am not looking. Whether it is to _me_ , _you_ , or _our children_."

Takumi looked up and met Leo's eyes, "I'm sorry, Leo. I didn't know."

"You know now. I trust that you will do the right thing." Leo smiled before he reached up to kiss Takumi's forehead.

After that, their eyes met, and Leo felt like the first time they sat together like this, only a few months after the war, exchanging soft glances and blushing whenever their eyes or hands met.

"I hope our boys both behaved while I was out?" Leo asked, turning to the crib that housed a sleeping Forrest.

"They are both angels. Kiragi has been so excited these last few days. He wanted to do everything he could to be the perfect big brother. He would always lay Forrest down beside you so I could watch over you while Kiragi played with Forrest."

"That sounds amazing," Leo said, feeling the exhaustion pull on him, a yawn escaping his throat. 

Takumi smiled at him, "It was. I'm sure we can do that some more after you have gotten some rest. You deserve it more than anyone."

"But-"

"No, _but._ You are going to rest. I remember how cranky you were after Kiragi because I allowed you to do _one thing_ in that exhausted state. I'm not going through that again." Takumi got up and walked over to Forrest to look if everything was alright, picking up the flower crown that had fallen off Leo's head and placing it beside the crib. 

"I wasn't _that_ bad." Leo let himself fall back into his pillow.

Takumi joined him again, laying down beside him, raising his arm to make space for his husband, who immediately cuddled up to him. "Oh, _you were._ " Leo folded his arms over his chest, making Takumi laugh, "It was cute how you wanted to help out, even though you were cranky and completely exhausted. You were cute, as always."

Leo couldn't contain his smile and just nuzzled deeper into Takumi's arms. Leo knew that he could not act being mad at Takumi for long, be it just for his exhaustion, but he tried anyway. 

Even though his eyelids were falling shut more and more and his yawning continued.


	5. thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takumi is up, sleepless and deep in thought when his son storms in after a terrific nightmare shakes not just him up, but his fathers as well. Because for Takumi, that dream hits a little too close to home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will contain mentions of self-harm and suicidal thoughts. It is only referenced, but still. Stay safe, y'all.

The night was laying upon them, taking the colors from everything and drowning all in dark tones and greys, the only light coming from the moon and stars.

Everyone was asleep in their small house. Takumi knew that Kiragi and Forrest were asleep, judging by the silence that was the only thing heard. The silence and occasional owl outside, or the wind rustling the leaves of that old oak tree in their garden.

He should have fallen asleep hours ago. But his eyes just couldn't seem to stay closed.

His thoughts were racing in his head, keeping him up. He hated being this restless. Just lying in bed, holding Leo, who was sleeping in his arms.

The way his thoughts just spiraled back to the same questions drove him mad. The way his own body betrayed him if he wanted to or not. 

He closed his eyes as he sighed, holding Leo tighter. He tried to force himself to sleep. Pressing his eyes shut, trying not to listen to any of the thoughts trying to creep back to his conscious.

It was always the same at this time of day. When he laid awake in bed, it all seemed to catch up with him. Everything that happened in his life up until this point. 

_The death of his father. The death of his mother. The war. The guilt. The pain. The blame._ It all came creeping in, drowning away his rational thinking, melting his mind. 

_He deserved the hurt he went through. He deserved nothing better. He should not have this family. Shouldn't have a loving husband and two beautiful children. He shouldn't be able to live in peace. He should not have loving siblings who were always there for him, even if he was nothing but mean and disrespectful._

_He should be dead, lying somewhere in a ditch._

His eyes snapped open again. 

He sighed as he looked down at the man in his arms. Leo never looked as content and peaceful as in moments like these. When he was asleep, all of the heaviness seemed to fall from his shoulders. It seemed as though he was just a man. _Not a prince who fought in a war and killed the innocent that were pulled into it. Having to watch his possessed father be killed._

_None of that._

In moments like these, he was just a man, laying in his husband's arms. Living in a small house between the kingdoms with his two sons asleep in bed.

Takumi softly brushed some stray strands of hair out of his husband's eyes. 

He thought back to the conversation he had with Leo a while ago. About the concerns, Leo had when it came to Takumi. The worries. The fear that he would go and never come back. Not just walking away, but that something would happen to Takumi. Either from an attacker or self-inflicted.

He hated that he worried Leo like that. But maybe it wasn't as far fetched as Takumi wanted himself to believe. He tried to convince himself that he was fine when he really was not. 

_That walking away unexcused and just wandering around until he let himself fall against a tree or a stone and broke down. When everything that piled up just seemed to be too much._

He tried to tell Leo before, but he just couldn't seem to jump over his own shadow. He could not admit to himself what he did and thought. Why he walked off. Because saying it out loud and to his husband just felt like he had to admit there was something wrong with him.

It was hard enough to tell Leo about certain parts. About the hardships, he had to live through. About his deepest fears and deepest secret. Even though Leo found out and asked him about it. About his...self-destructive tendencies and behavior.

He could not tell Leo about his darkest deepest thoughts. About his mind telling him how he should die in various ways every day. He just couldn't tell Leo.

But what would be if he told Leo? Yes, the man would probably go crazy with worry. But what if they talked stuff through. What if Takumi would find the strength to tell Leo about the demons in his mind and to what extremes they can push him and almost succeeded? Tell him about the things he tells himself.

Maybe it would make it all easier. Maybe it would help? Maybe Leo understands. He understood the other stuff they talked about. He even offered to help and step in if he ever noticed that Takumi showed any self-destructive behavior. 

_But he was too busy to notice that Takumi had gone down a dark path once again. One Takumi promised to never walk and act on ever again. But he did, and Leo had his head full with upholding the peace between their kingdoms._

Takumi sighed and felt himself jump when he suddenly felt Leo's hand on his cheek. Looking down, he met the man's still sleepy eyes. His brows were furrowed as he looked up at Takumi, " _Why are you still up_?" it was a raspy whisper in the silence, and Takumi's heart was racing.

"I can't sleep."

"Then why didn't you wake me? You know that I do not have a problem staying up with you."

Takumi smiled, "I thought you needed the sleep."

Leo scoffed, "Believe me when I tell you that the sleep I lost up until this point in my life is enough for three lifetimes. One more night up with you would not kill me."

"But still. You had a lot to do these last few days. You deserve rest more than anyone."

Leo rolled his eyes before he sighed, eying Takumi's face, softly caressing his cheek with his thumb, "There is something on your mind."

That sentence seemed to Takumi like Leo had just punched him in the chest, knocking the air out of him. This was his chance. His chance, to tell Leo. 

But before he could start to even properly think about it, their door was swiftly opened, and Kiragi was standing in the door frame, looking at his fathers with wide eyes. 

Both Leo and Takumi were sitting in bed, worry taking hold of every cell of their body.

" _Dad...you're...you're here_." Kiragi ran over to them, basically throwing himself at Takumi, hugging him close. 

Takumi was taken aback at first. Kiragi wasn't one for physical contact, only ever accepting a handshake or a hug from Sakura or Elise. _Something had to be really wrong._

As he laid his arms around his son, reciprocating the hug, he noticed that Kiragi was shaking and softly sobbing into his shoulder, " _Kiragi, what happened_?" he asked softly, looking over at Leo who nodded to the door, symbolizing that he would make them a cup of tea to calm down.

"I...I had a nightmare. I know it was a dream...but _it felt so real._ "

Once Kiragi had somewhat calmed and sat beside his father, he seemed to not be able to look up from his hands. He looked everywhere but at Takumi. 

"What was it about?" Takumi asked carefully.

" _You_ ," Kiragi answered so quietly that Takumi almost missed it.

Takumi swallowed, nervously brushing back some stray strands of hair.

He saw that Kiragi wanted to say something, but whenever he did, his shaking seemed to pick up again. 

When Leo came back with the tea and joined them, Kiragi took a deep breath. " _It_...it was about you." he looked up at Takumi, and the pure hurt he saw in his son's eyes broke his heart.

He offered Kiragi another hug, which he carefully accepted, not spilling any tea on their legs or the bed in general, "You were out somewhere, and Forrest and I had decided to go out and hunt..." Takumi felt his heart stop "...So we...we walked through the woods and... _and_..." Kiragi fell quiet again, his voice shaking.

Takumi's and Leo's eyes met, and it seemed like Leo only now picked up on what was going on. What Kiragi did not want to tell. They didn't know yet, but they had the same conclusion. It was just that Takumi was sure that they interpreted it differently.

"And... _you_ ...you were just laying there. And...there was _blood_ and..." Takumi held his son tighter, feeling his own throat tighten. 

" _That_ ...that was just a dream, Kiragi." Takumi's voice was a mere whisper, "I am here. That will never happen. I promise you. _I am fine, am I not_?"

Kiragi only nodded and nuzzled closer. Leo watched them both with concerned eyes. 

When the tea was finished, and Kiragi had fallen asleep against Takumi again, Takumi sighed as he leaned his head on his sons, "I should carry him to bed."

"What if he has another nightmare?" Leo asked, and Takumi knew just from the tone that there would be a talk waiting for him. It would happen either now, or he could escape it for a few minutes.

"Then he will come back here." Takumi picked his son up, not looking at Leo before he left the room.

He laid his son down and tucked him in before sitting down beside him. He sighed and looked at Kiragi once more before he got up and walked back to their bedroom. 

_Kiragi had nightmares about it. About him going off. But even worse, he dreamt of him dying. He dreamt of finding his dead father. And that worried him._

_When even Kiragi was at that level of worry..._

Takumi stopped in realization. 

_Kiragi knew. He had seen...too much._ He didn't speak off it when they were out, but Takumi now realized that it moved Kiragi to that extent. He worried. 

Takumi looked down at his arm before he started walking again. _This wasn't good._

" _Takumi_." he hadn't even noticed that he was back in the room, blinking twice as he took in the dark room. He laid back down and felt Leo's eyes on him.

"Leo."

"You know that we have to talk about this." Takumi turned his back to Leo and sighed. "Our son dreams of finding you... _dead_ in the woods. Do you think that is normal? Because it _isn't_."

 **"I know,** " Takumi said, biting his cheek. He did not want to sound as annoyed as he did. He turned onto his back, " _I_...know." he said again, calmer this time.

"There has to be a reason, right? Did something happen when you two were out hunting together? Or...or I don't know. Were you out in the city, and someone tried to attack you?"

"No. I don't know Leo." he looked over and met his husband's eyes, and he saw realization flicker up. "He...Maybe he _just_ worries about me. It isn't rare that I walk off."

Leo was quiet, and when Takumi looked over again, he saw that Leo looked away, "I saw the way you looked at him. You aren't telling me something. _You know_ why he worries." Leo met Takumi's eyes again. 

" _That's_..."

" _That's not true?_ Don't try to lie to me, Takumi. I know a liar when I see one." Leo sighed, "Why aren't you telling me? Do you... _not trust me with this?"_

He looked hurt, and Takumi hated himself even more, " _N-No its._ .." he closed his eyes as he sighed, "When I was out hunting with Kiragi my sleeve ripped and I wasn't wearing my gloves. Kiragi saw... **them**." he was quiet, and he felt like every word he said was too rough in his throat. 

He avoided looking over at Leo, who's hands were slowly taking his hand, "He didn't say anything. But...now I know that it stuck with him. That he worries. That he's scared _and_ ..." Takumi balled his hands to fists, "That is why I _never_ wanted you all to find out. I never wanted this... worry and the nightmares. And now you have them too and... it's _my_ fault. Because I'm _too weak_ to get ahold of myself."

It was quiet between them for a short while, " _Takumi_ ," said man met Leo's eyes, "you are _not_ weak." Leo broke off their eye contact, holding his hand tighter, " _I'm sorry._ "

"Why?"

"I'm sorry that I'm not here for you when you obviously need me. I didn't see the signs that you were going back. I _should_ have and been there and supported you. I was too busy with my work, and you suffered. I _didn't even notice_ you behaved differently, but now looking back, I remember that you did." He raised Takumi's hand up to his lips, kissing it.

"You don't need to be sorry, Leo. It's not your fault. D-Don't worry. You had more important matters than-" Leo raised his finger and put it on Takumi's lips, looking into the man's eyes. 

" _Takumi, listen to me_. It was wrong of me to not pay close attention to you. I should have not allowed you to slip back down this road. I promised you that I would be there and step in." Takumi looked from Leo's one eye to the other, "You need to talk to Kiragi about this. Help him understand. Maybe when you are out somewhere alone."

"But...I don't know if I can do that." 

"I know you can. And Kiragi will listen and understand. You just need to help him get to that point. Explain yourself and help him understand your situation. Tell him that you are working on bettering yourself, and maybe he can even help you."

" _I...I will try_."

Leo smiled, "That's all I want. About the worry and the nightmares...Takumi, _we care about_ you. Of course, we are going to worry about you and imagine the worst scenario. _I_ do that. Because I love you. My mind wanders and imagines all of the things that could happen to you...or you do to yourself." Leo swallowed, "But don't see that as a bad thing. We do care about your well-being. _That_ is why we worry."

Leo looked down, "I'm sorry that I asked if you don't trust me enough. I-I'm just scared...But that's not an excuse." He looked up again, "I am sorry. I should not have accused you of such things."

Takumi nodded, "It's...alright, Leo. I know."

Takumi hugged Leo and sighed against the man's shoulder. Leo held him tight, " _I don't want to lose you, Takumi. Never_."

"You won't. I promise." He didn't make promises he couldn't keep. But, he said it because he was somewhat confident in this. In holding out and withstanding his hurtful thoughts. If it were only for his family. He had something to hold on to life for.

Leo broke their hug off and smiled before he looked down at their hands again. He took Takumi's arm in between his soft fingers, not moving the sleeve, but just holding him. "I know you don't like to talk about _this_. And I understand that."

He looked up and met Takumi's eyes again, "I know that you probably blame yourself for going back...for relapsing after not doing it for such a long time. _But_..." Takumi saw that Leo was really thinking about his words. That he struggled on how to put his thoughts out in a way that would not come off as harsh or insensitive. "...your healing will never be linear. There will always be setbacks, and that is normal. You just have to focus on what your goal is. You went back, and it happened, but it's in the past. You cannot change it, but rather learn to accept it."

Leo's fingers traced softly over his arm, "Accept it and move on. Focus on learning how to live with what is going on in your head. Learn to deal with it in a healthy matter, and not like this."

Takumi laid his hand on top of Leo's, "I'll be here for you and by your side for every step of the way. _Remember that_."

Their eyes met, and Takumi felt a warm, content feeling spread through his body. He felt like he could cry, but not in a bad way. _Happy tears._

"I...I don't know what to say," he said, honest and quiet. 

"You don't have to say anything, Takumi." Leo smiled, "I just want you to know that you are loved and safe here. And that I will always be here for you. Same for our sons."

Takumi smiled before he went and hugged Leo close, "Thank you, Leo."

Takumi felt Leo smile against him before he pressed a light kiss to Takumi's neck, " _No need for thank you's. I love you_."

Takumi broke the hug and kissed Leo's forehead, "We better fall asleep soon. You're getting sappy." 

Leo playfully elbowed Takumi, " _Just say it back, you jerk_."

Takumi laughed before he whispered a sweet, "I love you too, you idiot."


End file.
